Welcome to my popular blog that has exactly two readers. You and me. Enjoy. In this blog I promise I will be very honest and describe all situations without any pretence or gilt. I will share my everyday mistakes and struggles with the lightness of a slightly overweight hippo. To make you smile and to raise your spirits after a long day at work with my light-hearted humour. To remind you, you are just a human being and tomorrow’s another day you can mess up to your heart’s content all over again. You’re welcome.
And in these tough times when everybody is trying to hide their mistakes and convince everybody they poo rainbow I’m going to reveal some of my flaws. So you don’t have to bad alone. We can start a club or a band together. But I’ll be the cashier, okay?
Here I present my top 10 features that I could think of off-hand:
1. I have a quirky sense of humour. It’s kind of dark, dry and incorrect and not everybody understands so I try to avoid conversations with strangers.
2. I absolutely try to avoid small talk as well. I would forbid small talk or made it illegal. There’s nothing worse than talking to a person you know nothing about for unspecific amount of time and enjoying it (or surviving it unscathed). Because you can’t talk about weather forever. And then it becomes weird. And then it becomes creepy and then you wish you stayed home.
3. It takes me a long time to get to know somebody. I overanalyze and overthink but when I finally get to know them and I know what kind of humour I can play on them and where is their breaking point I’m quite funny.
4. I need to feel super creative and inspirational to start redrafting my CV because I feel instantly not enough and need to have some paper tissues at hand (or a bucket on a bad day).
5. I have been trying to convince myself that I have artistic skills and I don’t want to comment on that.
6. I have been trying to convince people that my computer skills are better than they actually are and that I know how to use Excel successfully.
7. I have some gardening aspirations but thank god plants can’t complain.
8. I firmly believe that the rain will wash the windows clean.
9. Pineapple on pizza is okay.
10. Brussels sprouts are no longer my arch enemies. It’s a black curly kale now.
I wanted to write this article for a whole page but I ran out of ideas. It could be a disaster for a starting blogger but as you know me I don’t give up that easily so I wanted to write here a poem of mine but sadly my poetic skills are as “good” as my gardening skills. That’s why plants are my best friends. They can’t talk. And Voila! It’s almost a whole page. Have a nice day/evening, whatever you prefer.
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